A long strange trip (Part 5)


In case you missed it: Part 1Part2Part 3, Part 4

So it turns out there was a bit of an upside here, stranded in Frankfurt with no day light or electronics or paper maps. We’d slept.

No, really, we both somehow managed to sleep a few hours amid all that leg room between Denver and Frankfurt. And as upsides go, this one just might have saved the asses of los dos. Because we were not jet-lagged or entirely useless at 6pm in Frankfurt in a big-ass van with nowhere to go.

And no, good people, there are still no pix. But imagine you’ve taken a random highway around a large German city because the sign looked as good as any.

Some random person’s random pic of a random German highway sign at night.

Now imagine, in desparation, you’ve taken an exit in the city’s industrial zone, without meaning to do so, and you need to find your way back to where you came from, in spite of the fact that you haven’t the slightest idea where you came from.

All the while, Donna is on the phone with Verizon. They try this. They try that. And then they stumble on to the other phone number on her iPhone, the U.S. number we’ve ported over to Google Voice so it can still be used in Europe, an IP phone that needs… wireless. It seems maybe there’s some contention between this phantom line and the Travel Pass we just can’t get turned on. But we’ll need to talk to Tier 2 to sort this out.

In case you think we did this to ourselves, this failure to have mobile service, I should point out that we planned for this — well, not this exactly this, but that. We ported both of our Verizon numbers to Google Voice but we also had a new, regular mobile number added to Donna’s phone. So we could, you know, have cell and data and Internet service in Spain before getting new numbers here. The fact that the Verizon number was working as a voice line, but not as a data connection, was just another bit of chaos, the recurring theme of the trip so far.

Meantime, Gary, by some Teutonic miracle, has found his way back to the Frankfurt airport. Which is a bit like comfort food but completely unnourishing.

Currywurst is Teutonic comfort food — just go with me on this one. We have no other pix for now.

We’ve traded notes, los dos, and don’t know how we eventually ended up at a Lidl grocery store, where Gary pulls out his ace in the hole — some high school German — and asks a beleaguered clerk: “Wo sind die dinge für Haustieren?” Where are the things for pets?

This hand goes to los dos! We pick up kitty litter, cat food, dog food, and some beer and wine for good measure. In a bit, Donna hangs up with the well-meaning but powerless Verizon Tier 2 tech, no closer to getting online than 90 minutes earlier with Tier 1.

Some time later — who knows how long we’ve driven past city center, keeping the pretty tall buildings in sight — we pull into a Radisson Blu hotel to see if we can get a room. When I mention pets, the lobby functionary looks at me like I’m speaking a foreign language. In spite of the fact that he spoke pretty good English.

But now we’re inspired to keep going and keep asking hotel clerks if they could please, pretty please, take pets.

High above downtown we see a Marriott logo. But without a map or GPS we have no idea how to get there. A few blocks away we drive by the Hotel Frankfurt Messe and pull in. The lone clerk expresses a willingness to see if he could allow a dog in a room. “Und katze,” I say. Cats. Which was like putting our chips on lucky 7 then watching the pitiless roulette ball pop into the slot labelled double zero instead.

No, non, nein, nope… we don’t take cats. But why don’t you try the Best Western, he asks. —- The what?

Stay tuned for Part 6 – The Turning Point


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